Sometimes I just don’t know how to not blame myself.

I am still so, so sad sometimes. I don’t know how it will go away. Or how to keep living with it.

I was too polite

to scream during my rape

lyingthere:

sometimes it just feels like I don’t have the right to be so fucked up about this

asker

Anonymous asked: Did you press charges against your rapist?

No. Honestly, it was his word against mine. There wasn’t a shred of physical evidence and I knew it wouldn’t stand up in court. I considered doing something through a university process but when it came time to write out my report I just couldn’t get the words out, couldn’t express what had happened. Luckily for me, he was a graduating senior so I haven’t had to run into him on a weekly basis. I still feel like maybe there’s something more I could have done, but I honestly don’t know if I could have handled it. I had very little support at the time and was very fragile.